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Squeer The Squirrel
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Randall
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Part 1 The Education
Squeer the Squirrel attended Critter College, studied hard, and earned his S.B.F. (stealing bird food) degree. He remembered Professor Bushy's sage advice:
Squeer, if you can make a human like you, you'll have it made in the shade.
Part 2 The Career
On the Monday following graduation, Squeer visited Mrs. Gray's yard, surrounded by a white picket fence, and noticed an empty milk jug hanging in a tree.
Squeer said, "No sweat", crawled along the branch, clenched the container, and shook the sunflower seeds free, scattering them on the ground. 'Tasty,' he thought, 'I could get used to this.'
On Tuesday, Squeer returned and found a tube, filled with tiny black seeds, that he could not shake loose.
"I guess I'll have to do this the hard way." he said, and he gnawed right through the plastic. "It's a good thing I brush and floss every day." After nibbling the thistle seed, he grumbled, "Yuk, the goldfinches can keep it."
On Wednesday, Squeer discovered Mrs. Gray's glass jelly jar holder and enjoyed his snack, hanging upside down, without interruption, until her excited puppy appeared.
"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"
Squeer scooted away with no problem, except for a purple nose.
On Thursday, Squeer scratched his head because of Mrs. Gray's new feeder, fitted with a baffle. But after thinking about it for a bit, Squeer decided, "I'm not baffled," and scurried onto a limb about six feet over the treats.
"Got it!" he cried, crashing onto the platform containing pecan, pine, and pistachio nuts. "No more acorns for this rodent."
As he feasted, Squeer heard that familiar yapping sound. He knew there was only one escape, so he signaled his scurry (a group of squirrels), who quickly formed a squirrel-link chain that Squeer climbed to safety.
Part 3 The Squirmish
On Friday, Squeer almost missed the shi tsu sunning himself across the yard.
He thought he might have to leave again when suddenly, a huge hawk, shrieking, "Kae!" "Kae!" "Kae!", swooped in and made a pass at the poor pooch.
Mrs. Gray heard him whimpering and was nearly beside herself with worry when he failed to respond to her calls. Then she spotted the intruder perched on a post and waved her cane at him, screaming: "You leave my little Fluffy alone!"
Oh Oh, thought Squeer, not one to squirm, I'd better chirp for my chums. They huddled high in a tree, where Squeer explained his plan.
A flustered Fluffy hid under a bush. After a few minutes, the predator, poised to strike, caught the dog darting toward the house, hooked him by the handle of his harness, and headed out.
"They're coming," whispered Squeer. "Get ready."
The squatting squirrels prepared to attack.
"Now!"
Six scared squirrels hurled themselves at the big bird and knocked him back to the earth. The fearless warriors screeched, swished their tails side to side, and slowly crept forward.
The harried hawk could do nothing but squawk, and with a whoosh, retreated into the sky. Fortunately Fluffy sustained only a few scratches and flopped into Mrs. Gray's arms.
Part 4 The Retirement
On Saturday, Squeer and his mates met at Mrs. Gray's place.
"What?" said Squeer, "No baffle, and in the shade?"
Squeer and his pals scampered up the pole and salivated over a picnic of suet, peanut butter, and corn on the cob. "Yummy, yummy, yummy."
Mrs. Gray watched from her window, with Fluffy, and grinned at her new friends.
Look," said Squeer, "I think we made a human like us."
From that day forward, Squeer and his squad, Squeek, Squeel, Squick, Squint, and Squiggle, were known simply as ... the Mrs. Gray Squirrels.
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